Lumon
About

Hello, Tim U.waitbutwhy

All right, Tim. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie likes to measure his productivity by the odometer on his Apple Vision Pro.
Your outie believes AI therapists will fix all humanity's issues, yet still has trouble sorting his 300 browser tabs.
Your outie has progressed from doom-scrolling to creating illustrated existential crisis manuals.
Your outie's idea of 'going outside' involves watching YouTube videos about nature's existential horrors.
Your outie considers watching robots and drones in their natural habitat as a recreational activity.
Your outie's solution to any minor inconvenience is to dissect it into a 12,000-word blog post.
Your outie can't resist calculating the universe's scale to cope with everyday stress—because nothing comforts like realizing how tiny and meaningless he is.
Your outie thinks casually mentioning his visits to 'cutting-edge companies' is a personality trait.
Your outie is optimistic about AI therapists, probably because humans are tired of hearing his hour-long existential rants.
Your outie often tries to explain to toddlers the philosophical significance of the phrase 'Big Apple.'

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