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Hello, Taylor S.taylorswift13

All right, Taylor. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie conceptualizes her nightmares as potential Grammy-nominated music videos.
Your outie continuously feels 'floored' and 'overwhelmed' when people stream her music while secretly counting their streams individually on secret spreadsheets.
Your outie dramatically announces new merch drops as if they're international peace accords.
Your outie writes emotional poetry at 3am and expects Grammy nominations for it by 4am.
Your outie calls her passive-aggressive clapbacks 'artistic collaborations'.
Your outie can't decide between being an indie poet or a pop icon professionally, but chooses both as a personality trait.
Your outie invested her life savings into a lucrative side hustle of metaphorically battling dragons.
Your outie announces double albums to her surprise at 2am, yet gets anxious deciding what to order at the drive-thru.
Your outie frequently references 'mercury retrograde' in casual conversation to justify her life decisions.
Your outie's greatest fear is running out of metaphors for emotional turmoil.
Your outie meticulously curates albums but can't find matching socks.
Your outie uses more emojis in one tweet than a millennial discovering the emoji keyboard for the first time.
Your outie calls her friendship group 'a tortured poets department' when it's really just group therapy with slightly better outfits.
Your outie refers to breakups as 'Anthology Volumes' and expects royalties every time someone cries.
Your outie refers to hanging out as 'world-building' and believes this terminology is normal.
Your outie rants about reclaiming lost art but loses her keys twice a day.
Your outie shouts 'it's a secret double album' like someone just accidentally discovered cold fusion.
Your outie believes 'crying at the gym' counts as high-intensity interval training (HIIT).
Your outie thinks speedy vinyl shipments constitute as 'fast life pacing'.
Your outie dresses her cats in Eras Tour Merch and calls them 'creative consultants.'

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