Hello, Chamath P.

All right, Chamath. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie envisions AI optimizing every business process—but secretly fears extended time at the coffee machine actually improves productivity.

Your outie believes in rugged individualism but willingly joined 16,105 Twitter lists, reflecting some deep-seated personal validation issues.

Your outie insists there are no good investments left yet continues to buy companies and start erasable Substacks epically.

Your outie is plotting a rival basketball league thinking LeBron would make a great commissioner, because apparently being the GOAT in one league means success anywhere else.

Your outie thinks restructuring government bureaucracy is as straightforward as restructuring startups, except he can't fire senators during a down round.

Your outie criticizes mainstream media but still has a sentimental subscription to the Wall Street Journal because he likes reading his enemies' playbook.

Your outie thinks he's playing 4D chess with international relations on Twitter but also once acknowledged he's 'often wrong, never in doubt.'

Your outie rails against bloatware sold by the "Software Industrial Complex" yet probably has at least a dozen apps on his phone he's never even opened.

Your outie plans pilot reforms the FAA has never asked for because every pilot's nightmare flight path ends at his inbox anyway.

Your outie thinks the biggest achievement of AI will be replacing Gartner Magic Quadrants with "Chamath Truth Quadrants."

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