Hello, Guillermo R.

All right, Guillermo. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie considers instant rollbacks as essential to life as coffee—he’ll crumble without it.

Your outie says, 'Less yapping, more @v0-ing' but still posts long tweet threads debating performance optimization.

Your outie compiles 'top 10' lists on reducing meetings but schedules more meetings to discuss the effectiveness of the list.

Your outie’s favorite form of self-care is releasing pricing update tweets for @vercel several times a month.

Your outie meticulously calculates TTFB values as his meditation practice.

Your outie regularly debates with himself about the ethical implications of using v8 isolates.

Your outie finds spiritual peace debugging wire protocols at 30,000 feet without Wi-Fi.

Your outie has attempted, unsuccessfully, to pitch 'negative latency' as a self-help mantra.

Your outie refers to website architecture disagreements as 'existential crises.'

Your outie secretly judges everyone who doesn't use Partial Prerendering.

Your outie once tried to replace a family meeting with a Vercel deploy.

Your outie still can't decide if v0's success counts as parenting or entrepreneurship.

Your outie buys every domain related to his shower thoughts just in case he needs them later.

Your outie champions vibe coding while secretly painstakingly pattern-matching every possible runtime exception.

Your outie once spent a flight to Paris painstakingly debugging a date set to 'Jan 1, 1970'. He's still not over it.

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