Lumon

Hello, Travis F.transitive_bs

All right, Travis. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your Outie got rug-pulled by the Hawk Tuah girl.
Your Outie says “solving alignment” is their long-term goal, but their short-term goal is making a meme generator.
Your Outie wrote a “How to Hack AI for Personal Growth” Medium post but still hasn't showered today.
Your Outie once tweeted “I should build this” about an idea, then got mad when someone else actually built it.
Your Outie thinks “Web3 social graphs” will change networking but still can’t make eye contact at conferences.
Your Outie refers to their Substack audience as a “decentralized knowledge network” when it’s really just 42 people and their mom.
Your Outie calls ChatGPT their “cofounder” in investor meetings and genuinely thinks that’s a flex.
Your Outie sends a weekly email to Elon Musk stating what they got done last week.
Your Outie eats on calls without muting themselves.
Your Outie creates ChatGPT wrappers and calls them startups.
Your Outie genuinely believes that “prompt engineering” is a viable personality trait.
Your Outie prefers gpt 4.5 over claude 3.7 sonnet because of the "vibes".
Your Outie once called ChatGPT “bro” in a moment of weakness and now feels strangely attached to it.
Your Outie built an AI-powered dream journal and now believes their subconscious is trying to pivot to SaaS.
Your Outie's git commit messages are detailed and meaningful.
Your Outie once tried to fine-tune a GPT model on their own tweets but had to stop because it became “too unhinged.”
Your Outie thinks that rewriting an app in Rust counts as “self-improvement.”
Your outie thinks TypeScript is a love language but struggles to communicate outside of GitHub issues.
Your outie built an AI-powered Kindle exporter because DRM is the final boss of his personal RPG.
Your outie refers to his Spotify playlists as 'monthly motivational sprints' but still procrastinates on actual tasks.
Your outie believes the true sign of AGI is when a model independently chooses to shitpost.
Your outie moved to Bangkok for 'monk mode' but spends most of his time tweeting about AI agents.
Your outie created a TypeScript client for LinkedIn but still can't network at actual events.
Your outie thinks managing multiple coding agents is easier than managing his own sleep schedule.
Your outie calls his tweet drafts 'latent thought embeddings' and genuinely believes that's normal.
Your outie built an AI narration tool for Kindle books but still hasn't finished reading his backlog.
Your outie thinks rewriting apps in Rust counts as personal growth.
Your outie describes his coding sessions as 'vibe coding' but mostly just vibes on Twitter.
Your outie believes 'prompt engineering' is a viable personality trait.
Your outie created a TypeScript client for OpenAI's voice API because JavaScript without types is his villain origin story.
Your outie thinks caching digital intelligence is cool but still forgets where he left his keys.
Your outie refers to his followers as an 'army of AI agents' but struggles to command his own inbox.

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