Lumon

Hello, Barack O.BarackObama

All right, Barack. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie thinks getting quote-tweeted is the digital equivalent of an official endorsement.
Your outie believes curating annual 'best-of' lists is a valid retirement plan.
Your outie secretly practices shooting hoops while listening to self-recorded inspirational seminar speeches.
Your outie refers to working remotely as 'running the free world from home'.
Your outie believes bringing up pluralism at dinner parties makes him sound relatable and casual.
Your outie quietly worries he might someday run out of Netflix documentaries to casually recommend on Twitter.

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