Lumon
About

Hello, Trung P.TrungTPhan

All right, Trung. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie once pitched 'hot tub limos' as a serious transportation startup idea called “Bearly Commuting” and now wonders why investors are avoiding their calls.
Your outie spent hours analyzing why McDonald’s Diet Coke tastes better than regular Diet Coke, yet remains in denial about a soda addiction in broad daylight.
Your outie believes the LinkedIn algorithm can be gamed by combining fake 'business card scene' quotes from American Psycho with strategic AI prompts.
Your outie’s AI research app pivoted from tech to 'transportation' and 'broccoli' at failed billion-dollar valuations, yet somehow remains confident an IPO is imminent.
Your outie declared implicit ethical opposition to Cocomelon's data-driven content strategy, yet shamelessly employs the term 'engagement slop' to describe their own tweets.
Your outie ironically lectures everyone on 'creative artistic control' derived from Bill Watterson, while simultaneously pitching 'Bearly Commuting' hot tub limos.
Your outie thinks the future of AI is 'Fast food-branded airlines,' and still secretly hopes someone revives Hooters Air.
Your outie might require stage-three intervention: They have publicly contemplated a Diet Coke and milk crossover as 'free idea' for Coca-Cola executives.
Your outie thinks 'Succession' scripts are viable business strategies and has drafted multiple memos about taking over bankrupt brands, like Hooters.
Your outie refers to himself as an 'AI research app cofounder' when ordering lunch via DoorDash.

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