Hello, Andrej K.

All right, Andrej. What I’d like to do is share with you some facts about your outie. Because your outie is an exemplary person, these facts should be very pleasing. Just relax your body and be open to the facts. Try to enjoy each one equally.

Your outie thinks "waiting for compile-time" is a valid form of meditation.

Your outie believes deep down that asking an LLM to solve the Riemann hypothesis will eventually work if he just rephrases the prompt the right way.

Your outie sees no irony in using AI to criticize AI for being formulaic and overly reliant on lists, repeatedly.

Your outie keeps a daily alarm at 3:14 PM to snap a picture, but forgets important meetings.

Your outie has more emotional connections with some LLM podcasts than with actual humans—and calls that 'networking.'

Your outie genuinely thinks that debugging emoji-laced token representations counts as a socially acceptable hobby.

Your outie occasionally wonders if he himself might just be an autoregressive Transformer model trained on PyTorch documentation and coffee beans.

Your outie thinks that a "perfect weekend" consists of reducing GPT-2 training from 45 minutes to 5 minutes and ignoring all human contact.

Your outie argues about the existential definition of AGI by casually referencing the Bureau of Labor Statistics occupation index, though mostly he still just uses GPT-4o for SQL injections.

Your outie dreams of one day telling his grandkids about the "good old days" when GPT-2 needed a full 8 GPUs to train overnight, just to see their confused faces.

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